Today my work provided a Julbord for all 370 of its publicly funded employees! There were some tax revenues hard at work, even if we weren't. It was alcohol-free though - the bar offered alcohol free wine to my French colleagues and, well, the word outrage doesn't quite cover what they felt (but that's a story for the Swench life blog.)
A Julbord is a Swedish Christmas table, a smörgåsbord in fact! Most people outside Sweden sort of know the word smörgåsbord or at least use it in cringeworthy phrases like "The nightclub was full of fit men, it was a veritable smörgåsbord of sexual potential!" pppf. Basically it means a buffet table. There were 5 different kinds of pickled herring (sweet tasting fish) 3 different kinds of Salmon (including gravadlax, sweet tasting fish) 10 or more kinds of meat (I don't eat meat so I lack details here. I think there was a terrine of some entrails? Maybe some ham? There was a lot of ham. I think. A ham terrine maybe?) Potatoes. Beetroot. red cabbage. Breads. Crispbreads. Cheeses. Janssons Frestelse..."Janssons Temptation" (Potatoes, cream and anchovies in a traditional Christmas baked dish)
We also had Glögg (mulled wine) which Swedish people have "improved" (snigger) by sloshing a load of almonds and raisins in the liquid and fishing them out with a spoon to eat them.
Verdict: Yes yes lovely of my company to give me a slap up meal. And great to experience a Julbord. But Swedish people eat herring, salmon, potatoes, ham, creamy baked shit and beetroots throughout the year. Where are the brussel sprouts, christmas puddings, brandy soaked consumables, turkeys too big to bake in the oven or defrost, mince pies, christmas cakes nobody ever touches, apple/cranberry/mint sauces that stay in a jar in the fridge until the next year, and numerous other things that you only see at CHRISTMAS in England, and not throughout the year???!
Come on Sweden! A bit of VARIETY!
NO MINCE PIES! HOW DO PEOPLE COPE! NO CRACKERS! WHERE ARE ALL THE BAD JOKES GOING TO COME FROM?!
The rest of this post is dedicated to absent friends.
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