Saturday 24 May 2014

Day 282: Do you have a flag?





You know what's not popular in England?


Wearing the Union Jack, displaying the Union Jack, carrying a Union Jack, eating food with a Union Jack on, jacking off with a Union Jack (okay nobody does that but I like writing Jack. Not Jack as in "Jack shit" but just the word Jack. I'll stop now) The flag of choice for Flag events is the St. George's Cross, but unless it's the World Cup people will probably assume you're a racist for hanging it outside your house or wearing it in any way. Worst of all is having it shaved into your head. Still, it is something I've seen around. My mum had a pair of St.Georges cross flip-flops that came free in a newspaper for the last World Cup and she looked more and more like a racist as the World Cup fell further and further behind us. Eventually they broke and she got a nice non-racist pair.

You know what's popular in Sweden?

The Union Jack. How did you guess! Clever you.

I've seen more Union Jacks in Sweden than I ever cared to see in England. Parents of children I teach wear Union Jack handbags and I haven't yet figured out if they're doing it for my sake. Children of parents whose children I teach (wait what?) also wear the Union Jack as hair ribbons, iPhone cases, canvas shoes and T-shirts. Nobody wears the Swedish flag and I'm thinking of starting a trend. If it's just me on my own though, that's not a trend, that's just SAD.

WAIT

I googled flag clothes and these Keds are actually quite nice...



AAAaaaand they're sold out. That means someone else already started my trend? I will keep my eyes peeled.


Tuesday 20 May 2014

Thursday 15 May 2014

Day 273: Läkerol Review Raspberry Lemongrass

Läkerol are small, round pastilles that become gummy while you leave them in your mouth and fulfill the function of a mint but with a variety of flavours. Essentially they're sweets for grown-ups, designed to hide the fact that you're a big kid by being packaged in a neat little cardboard box with a well-designed sealing lid. Also you can't give them to kids (like I did) as they are liable to eat all of them at once (like the kid I gave them to did) and they can cause the shits (fortunately I told him to spit them all out before that happened as I didn't want his parents to get me fired.)

Allow me to review a range of flavours for your interest as I embark upon a trail much tread by Swedish snackers, with an English palette. 

My first taste of Läkerol was actually the Salt liquorice flavour which is the most popular and deserves a blog post of its own, it was given to me on a plane by someone sitting next to me and it was so disgusting I spat it out in their face. But that's another story.Today I'll review the first box I bought for myself in the shop:

Raspberry Lemongrass


Motivation: I bought these because I'm a sucker for advertising (see the Ramlösa post.) They look fruity and delicious, plus lemongrass is an interesting additional flavour.

Smell: These have no particular smell, just a bit fruity. Not overwhelming and not particularly raspberryish. Definitiely no lemongrass smell in there.

Taste: Unidentifiable fruit taste, not really raspberry (I read the ingredients. It's grape and apple.) IT'S LIES ALL LIES. THERE IS NO LEMONGRASS. HOW DO THEY GET AWAY WITH THIS BARE FACED LYING!

Summary: 5/10 would eat again because they take the edge off the smell of sweaty train carriage when commuting but on the other hand I MIGHT BOYCOTT THEM FOREVER AS I WANT MY DAMN LEMONGRASS. I recommend eating a piece of lemongrass while also eating a raspberry while also eating a läkerol for full effect, but that might be a bit cumbersome.

Saturday 10 May 2014

Day 268: Ramlösa...Bleeech!


Ramlösa is a Swedish sparkling water which is popular here. It is in fact, very popular. Many Swedes shun the cheaper brands of water to take Ramlösa instead. I have also heard it claimed that Ramlösa tastes like high quality water while Loka tastes "bad". Now maybe I'm just a water philistine, I had problems in France because I don't like Perrier, but to me sparkling water tastes like lead pipes and I will choose the El Cheapo bottle of still every time.

Unless, like yesterday, I was somehow tricked into thinking that the fruity sparkling waters would be delicious and refreshing. I deliberated a long time between Pear and Mango, wonderful sweet fruits with a unique flavour I'm sure you'll agree. There was some trepidation in the back of my mind, since the last time I bought a bottle of Ramlösa with the flavour of Lemon-Lime it tasted like the smell your hands get after you sort a sack of old coins.

But I gave the Mango the benefit of the doubt, because mangoes are delicious! what on Earth could go wrong! When I opened the lid there was a promising "whoosh" of fizz and the smell of Mango! Yes!

Of course it tasted like metal.

Steadily the bottle got warm in my bag over the course of the day, until I had warm flavoured metal. I hope I never fool myself into buying Ramlösa again when what I really want is one of these bad boys:
 


Monday 5 May 2014

Day 263: Much Financial


An internet meme is a repetitive joke spread virally and contributed to by the denizens of the internet. Imagine my surprise when Doge made his way off the computer screen and into the Stockholm metro.

I'm not exactly sure who the target audience of this advert is, as so far only one of my students, a 12 year old boy, has recognised where the joke comes from and now subjects me to a barrage of "MUCH FINANCIAL! HAHAHAHA MUCH FINANCIAL! MUCH FINANCIAL!" every lesson. Furthermore, the commuter newspaper Metro asked around to find out if anyone even recognised Doge. Apparently they did not.

The summer ticket being advertised costs a whopping 2400 krona (thats about £230 or $170) which I'm sure is more than the average 12 year old boy can manage, even if he is much financial (has much financial? owns much financial?)