Day 298: Wrong use of biscuits

Today my Swedish boyfriend was eating this.

WHAT THE FUCK!

They're Digestive biscuits with salami and cheese.

Let's read that again.

That is a plate of fucking SALAMI and CHEESE with DIGESTIVE fucking BISCUITS.

Now, somewhere my English mother and sister are thinking "Oh well, a bit of cheese on a Digestive might be quite nice" so maybe I can forgive the cheese (these two also advocate cheese on hot cross buns for some diabolical reason) but the salami is an unforgivable crime.

As a child growing up in England we used to get a Jacobs cracker selection box at Christmas. It contained cream crackers, mini cheddars, pepper crackers, water biscuits, wholemeal crackers and a few sneaky bastard Digestives who should not have been in a cracker box.

Crackers are crispy and tasteless or crispy and salty. They are SAVOURY and can be eaten with SAVOURY foods. Biscuits are crumbly and sweet. You dunk them in tea and they are great, or you can melt chocolate and marshmallows on them for smores if your diabetes isn't progressing fast enough. As a child I was always outraged that Digestives made the cut into the cracker selection box and people thought that meant you could eat them with cheese.

Now I'm extra incensed that Swedish people (by Swedish people I am assuming that because my boyfriend does it, all swedes cop the blame) think it's okay to eat Digestives as a cracker with salami, pickles, ham, or any of the other WRONG items I have seen the bf eating.

And worst of all, he eats these Digestives without a CUPPA TEA!

I might have to move back to England!