What better way for me to convince you that Britain is a bit shit than by first bringing your attention to the amount of literal shit everywhere on the streets, on the pavements, on grassy areas, in front of your garden gate, by your front door, just, everywhere. When I used to work in Gillingham, a fairly deprived bit of Kent, I was treated to a daily rainbow of differently coloured dog turds representing the vibrant spectrum of tones dog poo can achieve if left for extended periods of time next to their more recent neighbours. That was five years ago and since then street cleaning budgets have been cut in what I can only assume is a cultural project to help the nation discover yet more nuances of the colour brown/grey. A small amount of internet searching reveals that in England and in Sweden, between 10-15% of dog owners answer that they do not pick up after their dog. Metro helpfully points out that in Sweden these figures mean 8000 dog turds are left on streets or in natural areas every day. If the same percentage of dog owners in Britain do the same, with a conservative estimate of 5 times the number of people, that's 40,000 dog turds in a country half the size. Sweden's measly 8000 turds could have 21 square miles each to sit in. I would say that Britain's turds would get 2 miles each but I already know that a large majority of them are right next to each other in Gillingham.
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| If only... |
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