A while ago there was some snow,
and prettily it lay.
But since then, a day or ten,
the ice has come to stay.
And ice is not my friend, no, no.
It isn't either yours.
It makes you slip, it makes you trip
and has you on all fours.
Snow is fluffy, snow is soft
it cushions as you sled,
but ice is solid, ice is hard
it breaks your bones instead.
Stupid o'clock is when you leave
To get to work by 8
'Cos if you don't, you'll shuffle in
broken, bruised, and late.
Don't think of running for that bus,
the fare price is a farce.
The cost is other passengers
seeing you land on your arse.
If you manage to make the bus,
or wait hours at the stop,
you'll find it less impervious
than you to icy slop.
Neither run trains under the ground,
somehow they're broken too.
People down there are also late,
avoid the angry zoo.
Trudge like a bitch through all that shit,
the option that remains,
go walking thrice or more a day
you'll start to go insane.
Carry also a bunch of crap
that weighs a million tonne
throw off your balance in all sorts of ways.
Play on hard mode, what fun(!)
Get overtaken by old folk
with years of common sense.
They neither lose their studded shoes
nor skate around all tense.
Little children get dragged along
all happy in their sleds.
Fuck them, fuck it, fuck why aren't you
at home with tea instead?
But home is over there you see,
while you are over here,
and between these two places lies
A deathly, ice veneer.
You may wonder as you waddle
where all the money went
that was to pay for snow free roads
and gravelled pavement.
That's a mystery for certain,
it's never to be solved.
One thing's for sure though, and that is this:
once I get home I'm not fucking going out again, no. Even if I have to concoct some weird bollocks from the dredges of the bottom of the freezer and that weird jar at the back of the fridge it's better than venturing to the shop. And I know I signed up for a class but they've got 30 people and they certainly won't notice if one person is missing. I haven't taken the bin out for about a week and it smells like old oranges but, just, I can put it outside the window for this evening. What's the temperature? It's 4 degrees that's good do some thawing, oh unless it drops to -10 in the night and freezes all the thaw into sheet ice, then I really am fucked. Right, just don't think about that now.
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| ONE IMAGE CAN'T DO JUSTICE TO THE ICE HELL SO HERE'S STOCK PHOTO ICE |
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