"Why have you taken a picture of a pissy floor?" asked my sister when she looked at my phone. It's not actually a pissy floor (although there might be some piss, I don't want to know.) This is the floor in an English swimming pool changing room, complete with my outdoor shoes which I felt weird wearing in an environment where everyone else was barefoot.
You see, I used to not care about the grime and the indoor shoes. But some transformation has taken place since I moved to Sweden. Here, people are told by signs to take off their shoes before entering the changing area and they all do. The floor is probably so clean you could eat some pickled herring off it. Now I don't want to walk around on grimy floors anymore and I feel like shouting at people to take off their outdoor shoes!
There are also signs telling you to shower, in big letters, WITHOUT SWIM CLOTHES AND WITH SOAP before ye dirty unwashed masses set foot in the pool. And people do (because this is a society where signs are much respected). People don't wash before swimming in England, in fact they roll around in pig shit for a few hours before going to the pool. At least that's what people used to, metaphorically (or literally?), do at a music festival I went to that happened to have a leisure centre nearby offering the only hot showers in a few miles' radius.
The nakedness takes a little getting used to when you come from a society which clings desperately to prudish Victorian values. I'm accustomed to having my own dark cubicle in which to hide my shame, or at least ensconcing myself in some far-flung corner of the changing room where the fewest eyes can see me. Not so over here. Today I realised that, in a total opposite fashion to English people, Swedes notice that I am changing alone and wish to join me in my changing, perhaps so I don't get lonely. Soon enough there are 8 naked people in one area of a changing room with 4 separate areas. And nobody else in any of the other areas.
In Swedish pools, friends chat to each other absolutely stark (bollock, in the mens' room) naked. This has a the effect of increasing the time the conversationalists are naked and have to socialise with an eyeful of boob. But nobody seems to find this awkward. It's not just old ladies though, it's everyone. Even teenage girls (and I have been informed, boys) who are traditionally body-conscious as they go through puberty, will stand in a group of friends and chat while naked, or shower and share products, you've guessed it, totally naked.
Far from complaining about this, I actually am quite impressed by people's liberal approach to the body and to each other. People really don't give a toss if their friend has bigger tits or a massive bush. It's there, its probably quite chlorinated at this point, it's a bush. Done. Can I borrow some shampoo, yes. I am far more shocked and appalled that people wear their frikkin' DOG SHITE covered shoes in the changing room in England than I am that a naked lady with a spare tyre is using the adjacent locker in Sweden.
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