Day 387: Stop, oh yes wait a minute mr. postman

I have given some thought as to whether it would be better to be a postman in Sweden or in England, here are my musings on the topic.

Advantages:

1. Get a company bike and Sweden is quite bike friendly
2. Don't have to walk far with a heavy post sack
3. Get to be outdoors in the sunshine
4. Stringent (sometimes bordering on ridiculous) health and safety laws meaning you don't have to carry much e.g.:
5. Parcels are delivered to depots and people pick them up themselves so you don't have to carry them

Disadvantages:

1. Portuppgång [port-upp-gong] the stairwell leading to individual apartments in a block of flats.How many of these bastard stairwells does a poor postman have to climb in a day? Okay, you can trundle round on a bike 5 meters between doors to blocks of flats but then you have to climb up 4 stories (or more) to 12 different houses (or more) in each one. And they're all the frikkin'same street after street! Do postmen even ride their bikes? Is there any point?
2. Ericsson. Johnsson. Nyqvist. Karlsson. Everyone here has the same name. I would bet good money that many portuppgång have at least 2 of the same name. And letters don't have door numbers, just names. In fact, I really wouldn't be surprised if there was a portuppgång where every single person was called Anna Andersson.
3. Yeah you read that NO DOOR NUMBERS. Wtf Sweden. Everyone who lives in someone else's house, I.e. Rents it or lives with a friend, will not receive their mail because their name isn't on the door. Or, if you receive a letter without your name to your portuppgång it's undeliverable. If you try to pick up a parcel without a name, but with the rest of your address on, the staff will act as if this is the most INCREDIBLY BIZZARE package that has ever existed, and you are a thief trying to steal it. I reiterate at this point: no door numbers, everyone with the same name. (Side note: going to people's houses is also difficult. You usually have to know the door code and surname in advance otherwise you can't get into the portuppgång and there is no doorbell you can ring either. So you just have to stand outside like a knob.)
4. Did I seriously write "get to be outdoors" as an advantage? What a knob. This is Sweden. Deliver post on a bike at 7am in the pitch dark while a blizzard rages? No ta.
5. "INGEN REKLAM TACK" is there a single person in Sweden who doesn't have a no junk mail sticker on their door? A single one? What do the postmen do with all the junk mail then? How much of their energy is spent carrying unwanted advertising up and down the portuppgång? This is a very miljö conscious country, think of the wasted energy there! The man (oh sorry this is a very gender equal country too, OR WOMAN) who harnesses this lost energy will be very rich indeed. I'm pretty sure companies don't stop sending junk mail just because people have that sticker.
6. The ikea catalogue (aka Swedish bible) that gets delivered to every house once a year. Carry that? Nope, not me.

In conclusion: Don't be a postman. Unless you're a sadist. A poor sadist who needs the money.