Saturday 8 February 2014

Day 177: Swedish Hypochondria


Often I raise my opinions on the subject of Swedish culture with my Swedish boyfriend and often he offers a sympathetic ear, generally agreeing with my observations or offering a slightly different viewpoint which is not too far from my own.

Not so when it comes to illness!

I can't tell if I am unusually stiff-upper lip about being sick and soldiering on because I'm British or if Swedish people are unusually over-reactive about their problems. Either way, there is a large gap between how I think people should behave around sickness and how Swedish people actually behave.

First of all is the story of the middle aged woman who held up a tram for 20 minutes because she ran into the closing doors and fell over. She collided side-on and was pushed backwards. Then, as if in slow motion, she decided to sit down. After sitting she apparently decided to lie down on the gravelly platform and hurt her head. Ok, you're probably thinking that I'm mean and she needed help and it probably hurt to hit the doors, the floor or the gravel. But why does it take 4 passers-by and the conductor of the tram to stand around her pointlessly and soothe her anxiety and embarrassment? For 20 minutes? While a tram full of people is waiting and another tram is waiting behind? In England you hit the doors, you laugh because you're embarrassed and then you get on the tram and have the conductor fuss over you while you're traveling home. And Sweden is meant to be the efficient place?

Secondly I refer you to the treatment of sick children in Swedish schools. They don't come in. Sometimes for weeks. Because they have a sniffle. Sometimes they get sent home because they have a sniffle. If a child claims to be ill, feel sick or have a headache they go home, no questions asked. Some of the children I teach miss weeks worth of school because of illness - in England parents are punished if their children have low attendance. Furthermore if English children cotton on to the idea that they can go home if they claim to have a headache, there would be no children in school. On a side note, children in schools can take themselves to the toilet whenever they want. In the middle of a lesson. What nonsense! Swedish kids never bloody sit down, they're always "peeing". Yeah right.

Weirder still, in schools there are boxes of plasters on every floor that children can help themselves to in times of need! If we had that in England there would never be any bloody plasters because kids love plasters and would stick them on themselves for no reason, or trade them in the playground.

Thirdly, small injuries are regarded as worthy of a hospital visit. I went with my boyfriend to the A&E because he fell while running and had gravel in his hand. I didn't say this to him as I was being supportive, but in England you take the gravel out yourself and put some TCP on that shit. There's a crisis in the A&E departments and you'll be sitting there for 6 hours behind a queue of car accidents and stabbings before anyone will look at your damn hand.

Fourthly you don't need to have a helmet, knee, shin, elbow and god-knows-what-else pads to go ice skating. Or a high visibility jacket and trousers when you go for a walk. Although I see why everyone has high desks at work and no chairs, since sitting is bad for you. But people deserve a sit down sometimes!



Fifthly, not a day goes by without a newspaper article about poison in foods (this week DN's angle was this). We have to avoid tin cans, lettuce, plastic containers, bottles, foods with some additives... Parents have to avoid toys, because they can poison the kiddies. Salad can also make you sick. So can meat. The supermarkets are out to get you, too.

Beware though, you don't get a high quality of life without fussing over the small details collectively as a nation!

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