Day 1925: IS TOO EARLY

IT IS TOO EARLY FOR:

LUSSEBULLAR.

THESE BUNS ARE FOR LUCIA ONLY!

 JULMUST.

 IT'S NOT TIME FOR CHRISTMAS YET

 TEMPERATURES LOWER THAN MY FRIDGE.

I DON'T WANT TO COMPARE THIS WITH THE EXTERNAL TEMP AT BREAKFAST

 AND GIVE UP ON MY DAY BEFORE IT HAS BEGUN, THANKS.

WEARING A COAT NOT A JACKET.

 DEFINITELY INTERESTED IN ONE OF THESE COATS...FOR LATER.

DARK. DARK. DARK. ALL THE TIME DARK.

A PIC FROM MY BEDROOM WINDOW

DARK WHEN I WAKE UP.

IS IT THE INSIDE OF MY EYELIDS, OR MY ROOM, OR BOTH?

DARK WHEN I LEAVE WORK.

 THIS IS THE BUS STOP WHERE I CATCH THE BUS

DARK WHEN I LOOK OUT THE WINDOW.

 OH, THERE'S A BIRD. I THINK. 

TRICK OR TREATERS.

SWEDISH PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHEN HALLOWEEN IS. 

KIDS JUST TRICK OR TREAT FOR ABOUT 3 WEEKS.

BALD TREES.

SERIOUSLY, I SNEEZED AND THE LEAVES WERE GONE.

VINTERDÄCK.

WHY ARE THE ROADS ICY ALREADY?

RECIPES TRYING TO REINVENT THE SAME OLD CHRISTMAS FOODS.

NO I DON'T WANT MAYONNAISE IN MY SAFFRON BUN.

PEOPLE ASKING ME WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

I DON'T KNOW 

SNOW. 

YEP, SEEN SOME ALREADY. NOT YET PLZ.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION.

Day 1908: Literal bird is literal

The arrival of a new bird in the garden, a Eurasian Jay, inspired me to break my 188 day silence and share with everyone the joy and lunacy of Swedish bird names. 

1. NUT SHOUTER (Nötskrika, Eurasian Jay)

2. NUT WAKER (Nötväcka, Nuthatch - Ok that one's funny in English, too)

3. TRIBUTE SNEAK (Gärdsmyg, Wren)

4. STONE CRACKER (Stenknäck, Hawfinch)

5. BLACK-HAIRED BUSH-SPLASHER (Svarthakad buskskvätta, Stonechat)

6. WHERE BIRD (Varfågel, Grey Shrike)

7. STORM BIRD (Stormfågel, Fulmar)

8. QUACK DUCK (Snatterand, Gadwall)

9. BROWN GLAD (Brun Glada, Black Kite)

10. GREAT STAIRCASE (Stortrapp, Great Bustard)

11. COAST BEEPER (Kustpipare, Grey Plover)

12. ROSE CHAP (Roskarl, Ruddy Turnstone)

13. FAT FOOT (Tjockfot, Stone Curlew)

14. TOWER SAILOR (Tornseglare, Swift)

15. NOTCH CROWBAR (Hackspett, Woodpecker) 

16. JUDGEMENT GENTLEMAN (Domherre, Bullfinch) 

Day 1720: Swedish University

I know what you're not thinking, I haven't updated the blog in many moons. This is because, as it turns out, working a full time job and being a full time masters student erodes your free time (WHO'DA THUNK IT?!)

But for my fan, here is my (brief rundown) of things everyone should know about Swedish university.

1. It's free! And the government gives you some money to study!

2. It's not free enough, you still have to buy food and rent and you know, live in Sweden, one of the most expensive places on this Earth.

3. If you're studying a set program, you don't automatically get enrolled on your courses. You have to apply for them externally. And hope you get in. To courses on your program. That you're already accepted to.

4. Many professors make up grading criteria as they go along, even though they provide you with official grading criteria at the start of the course.

5. You get almost unlimited chances to retake things you failed.

6.Lecturers always try to make group work a thing.

7. Half the people on your course are somehow already employed by the university.

8. Don't ask the studievägledare (study councillor) for advice, they do NOT know what they are talking about.

9. Don't talk over Swedish people in the seminar, even if they've been stuck in a repetitive feedback loop for the last 10 minutes and you have something much more pertinent to say.

10. Wait 10 minutes for them to finish. Then wait another minute in awkward silence to allow time for someone else to potentially speak and get stuck in a feedback loop.

11. Listen to that person say the same thing over and over in a variety of different ways because they want to avoid the one minute of awkward silence that follows their stopping speaking.

12. Spend a 45 minute seminar wanting to kill yourself.

13. Coffee break! You always get a coffee break, at least one an hour. THANK GOD.

14. KAMRATBEDÖMNING. Never get constructive criticism from a professor. The preferred method is to get other students who don't know what they're talking about to give half-assed feedback on your papers.

15. Nobody buys books. If they do you should mug them because they must be millionaires. Professors will lend you books and look the other way while you scan them.

16. At least one lecturer will be from Skåne and completely incomprehensible.

17. Good luck!