Sunday 7 March 2021

Day 2785: I'm so done with this Corona bollocks

There's an old adage that says "if you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". But if I followed that rule I wouldn't have said a good seven tenths of the things I've ever said, and a good nine tenths of the things I've ever written. 

The only thing I've said about Corona on this blog is that people hoarded stuff way back last year (my god, that time span. Depressing.) at the beginning of the pandemic. I think I, like many others, was just hoping the whole thing would go away and I could go back to thinking about other things. But it's not going away. And I'm not thinking about other things - well I am, but Corona always crops up in there somewhere. 

If your life is based in a single place, your family and friends are in that place, your job is there, and your hobbies too, then your life became complicated in the sense that you were restricted from engaging in your usual routines and social habits. You probably have some kind of resentment (even though there's nowhere to direct it really unless you have a punching bag with an anthropomorphised corona face stuck to it, or one of the world's worryingly more common authoritarian governments) about losing out on a year of your life that you planned to use to greater effect. 

 

If your life is based in more than one place, that is to say your family, your friends, your job or your hobbies are not within reasonable range of your residence, then this year became fundamentally, world shatteringly more complicated. The situation may even have made you question the whole foundation of why you moved, and ended up living in what is possibly one of the world's most boring, antisocial, cold, quietly self aggrandising, disappointing, overrated and dark places in the world. Yes, I may have crashed out of the hypothetical there somewhat. 

Doubtlessly, life is miserable the world over thanks to Covid, and it is foolish to blame all negativity on any one place. The grass is always greener. A nasty side effect of moving from your home is that you forever wonder whether life is shit because life is shit, or because life HERE is shit, but if you were THERE it would be better. If you live in one place and one place only, you know for sure that life is just shit, you don't have this nagging pull at the back of your mind that you are much better suited to life elsewhere (though let's be honest we're all better suited to life on an environmentally friendly, politically autonomous, fully catered, private equatorial island). 

If half of your spiritual self is in one place, the other half is elsewhere, and a pandemic prevents you from uniting the two... well. You're basically living in a perpetual state of colossal FOMO, a self-developmental limbo, impostor-syndrome autopilot, in which you try to act like you're living your best life in Sweden even though you hate minus temperatures, you don't own a holiday cottage with a bit of land, you've never been, or wanted to go, skiing, you have no intention of queueing in the snow to use a virus ridden gym, you don't suddenly feel the need to contribute to an ongoing housing sales boom, there really is no need for you to get a dog just because everyone else seems to be getting one and above all else you absolutely, under no circumstances, will watch mello or any of the other drivel that this country calls television. 

"But there's no lockdown in Sweden!" I hear you cry. I can tell you now, hand on heart, that pubs being open until 8pm for people who sit in groups of maximum 4 people drinking beers at 8 quid after sitting at home on the computer for ten hours of the day really doesn't compensate for having the slimmest opportunity to leave this place and be with old friends and family that you havent seen for months and months. Worse still, that gnawing guilt you had about all the air travel your lifestyle required is now multiplied tenfold by the knowledge that everyone will be jetsetting all over the place when the time comes for holidays to be on the cards. Do you really want to be a part of that gas guzzling, carbon monoxide spewing, consumerist frenzy? Is there any choice in the matter?

Answers on a postcard.

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