This is a piece of knäckebröd. For anyone who doesn't already know, it's basically a cracker made from rye or wheat, tastes approximately like cardboard and is so hard you could probably stack a few together and murder some people. Swedish people eat them so much there is an aisle in the supermarket with different kinds of what is essentially the same thing. Kids at schools eat them at snack time. In the staffrooms of schools there is knäckebröd. On the tables in the dining halls of places of work there is knäckebröd. On the bread table at a buffet there is knäckebröd. Right now while I am typing, my Swedish boyfriend is buttering a piece of knäckebröd. I can hear it from next door because they're that fucking hard.
I would like to draw your attention to the picture above. I buttered that piece of knäckebröd and I have to say I did a lousy job. The surface has a pillowed texture and the butter just goes in the crevices. My attempts to put the knife in the gap and redistribute the butter have just meant the butter is piled in a similar quantity in an adjacent crevice. Now, I've lived here for 473 days so I like to think I've learned a little bit about Swedish life, but I don't think I will ever learn how to butter a piece of knäckebröd. Let's compare with my boyfriend's knäckebröd:
Look at that. It's a fucking piece of art.
While the butter is in the crevices, which is unavoidable, unlike my piece the butter is in pretty much all the crevices, rather than just one measly side. Also, it took me fucking ages to "spread" the butter, so mine is half melted. My boyfriend's piece has unmelted butter, effortlessly spread on with a single sweep.
Now, I'm not much of a scientist but I'm willing to state that this is evidence enough for Swedish people having an innate ability to prepare knäckebröd. Even with lots of practise I'm just not as good as a Swede when it comes to buttering. Hats off to you guys.
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